you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
