I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
