You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
