she was so not down for the gang bang
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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