If that was your dad, he is hot
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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