Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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