used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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