Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
