Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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