Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
