so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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