i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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