Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
