Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
