I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
