Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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