Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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