If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
