I hate your face
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
