So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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