you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
