i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize