member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
