I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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