Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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