I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
