Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
