What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
