do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize