I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
