I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
