I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize