Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
