We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
