how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
