What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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