I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
