She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
