Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
