you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
