I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize