he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
