so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
