Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
