Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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