Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
BRING THE BAGELS
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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