Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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