Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
