you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She's the barista slut.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's rum buckets o'clock
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
