all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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