Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
