sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
