Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
MIDGETS
????
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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