Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize