So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
