i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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