He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
there is puke in my bra ... again
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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