At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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