Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize