Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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