Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
