? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He told me they were just razor bumps!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
