I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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