he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
