if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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