it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My dad is sitting where you rode me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
