Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
