So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
