if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
