she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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