Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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