So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
